Two people who promise to improve each other’s spiritual life have taken on an exacting and beautiful task. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá describes husband and wife as a single soul, two helpmates and intimate friends who should be concerned for each other’s welfare, consulting with the utmost love, keeping faith with one another, and letting their unity grow day by day until it becomes one spirit and one body. A bond that is only physical, he warns, is doomed to end in separation; a union of body and spirit is a gleam of the love of God and endures through all His worlds. Such a marriage asks for care in knowing another’s character before the covenant is made, for sacrifice freely offered rather than demanded, and for a home whose love flows outward into service. The Buddhist Samajivina Sutta, where a couple wishing to stay together are told to match each other in conviction, virtue, generosity and discernment, offers a kindred vision of shared cultivation while describing future life in its own distinct terms [1]. The verse of the Kitáb-i-Aqdas on marriage belongs with its published explanation that monogamy is enjoined [2]. From here the way opens toward the laws that frame marriage and its dowry, the prayers revealed for married couples, and the wider questions a family faces about children and their coming.
Each must, however, exercise the utmost care to become thoroughly acquainted with the character of the other, that the binding covenant between them may be a tie that will endure forever. Their purpose must be this: to become loving companions and comrades and at one with each other for time and eternity
… The true marriage of Baha'is is this, that husband and wife should be united both physically and spiritually, that they may ever improve the spiritual life of each other, and may enjoy everlasting unity throughout all the worlds of God.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1907-Jun-05, to Rosa V Winterburn -- AB03461)
The available source contains an omission or incomplete wording; sentence boundaries need review.
02
O ye two believers in God! The Lord, peerless is He, hath made woman and man to abide with each other in the closest companionship, and to be even as a single soul. They are two helpmates, two intimate friends, who should be concerned about the welfare of each other.
If they live thus, they will pass through this world with perfect contentment, bliss, and peace of heart, and become the object of divine grace and favour in the Kingdom of heaven.
… Strive, then, to abide, heart and soul, with each other as two doves in the nest, for this is to be blessed in both worlds.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, to Shahriyari, Nushiravan et al -- AB06767)
03
O maidservant of God! Thy letter hath arrived. Thy dear husband wisheth to complete his education and thou art eager to go to Africa. Now, ye must consult with each other, confer with the utmost love, agree upon a sound decision, and be fully united, for husband and wife must be even as one person, that they may succeed in every matter.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1921-Oct-08, to Caroline Simpson -- AB12055)
04
A condition must be realized in which the man and woman sacrifice their right for each other, serve each other with heart and soul and not through force and violence. This condition cannot be realized except through the power of faith. Hearts must be attracted to the divine fragrances so that each one prefers the other to himself and does not consider himself above the other.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words to various people, spoken at Hotel Plaza on 1912-Nov-01 -- ABU0319)
05
The greatest bond that will unite the hearts of man and wife is faithfulness and loyalty. Both must exercise toward each other the utmost faithfulness and loyalty and not let any trace of jealousy creep between them; for this thing like unto poison vitiates the very foundation of love.
The man and wife must dedicate their knowledge, their talents, their fortunes, their titles, their bodies and their spirits, first to Baha'u'llah and then to each other. Their thoughts must be lofty, their ideals luminous, their hearts spiritual, and their souls the dawning-places of the rays of the Sun of Reality.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words spoken on 1918-Dec-22 -- ABU0364)
06
In truth, one must arise in faithfulness and show firmness and steadfastness, especially to one's companion, associate, intimate friend and confidant, for the rights between these two are ancient, firm and strong.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1904 ca., to Haji Mirza Muhammad Yazdi Alaqihband -- AB01177)
07
It is hoped that day by day affection and kindliness and connection and oneness will increase, for in this holy Dispensation it has been ordained that love and unity between husband and wife should increase day by day, until they become as one soul, one spirit and one body.
The loved ones of God must conduct themselves in such a way and show such good character and behavior that others remain astonished. The affection between husband and wife must not be purely physical, but rather spiritual and heavenly. These two are as one soul - how difficult it is for one soul to be separated! Surely great difficulties will occur. In brief, the foundation of God's Kingdom is love, affection and unity - it is connection not separation, unity not discord, especially between husband and wife.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1920-Nov-12, to Baha'is of the United States -- AB02870)
09
Marriage, among the mass of the people, is a physical bond, and this union can only be temporary, since it is foredoomed to a physical separation at the close.
Among the people of Baha, however, marriage must be a union of the body and of the spirit as well, for here both husband and wife are aglow with the same wine, both are enamoured of the same matchless Face, both live and move through the same spirit, both are illumined by the same glory. This connection between them is a spiritual one, hence it is a bond that will abide forever.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1910-Aug-18, to Louise Waite -- AB02400)
10
"There are two relations between man and wife, one real, the other unreal. The real relation which is based upon spiritual love and companionship will ever remain the same; the other relation which is unreal will be done away with. The love between man and wife must ever be kept sacred and holy. … Humanity is continued through the practice of this law but the life in the family must be [pure], soul-elevating so that the children may breath the uncontaminated atmosphere of sanctity and the love of their parents may be a great example to them."
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words spoken at Rue Lauriston 97 in Paris, 1913-Mar-28 -- ABU2489)
11
And further ... man and woman should truly be friends and should be in sympathy with each other. Their understanding should have a basis in reality and not be based upon passion and desire. In the latter case, they might live together for a few years, but afterwards, differences may arise... Each should seek to comfort and assist the other...
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words spoken on 1915-Sep-08 -- ABU2846)
The available source contains an omission or incomplete wording; sentence boundaries need review.
12
Marry thou a wise, perfect, learned, experienced and faithful person, so that thy time may pass in joy and happiness from beginning up to the end.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1911-Dec-20, to Ellah A Rice-Wray -- AB04359)
13
O Handmaid of God! Do not hurry the matter, as it is better to wait a while in such affairs. Perchance that person's heart may be illumined with the light of guidance, and thou mayest draw him nearer the shade of the Tree of Life and enable him to enter the paradise of divine love. Tell him: "I desire intimacy and union with thee in both the earthly and divine kingdoms, both physically and spiritually. Were we to be united in body only and remain distant in spirit, what use and benefit would such a union bring? For such intimacy would be a transitory thing and not an essential reality. Rather would I share a bond with thee in both the earthly and heavenly realms, in both body and spirit.
As for what you mentioned regarding the matter of marriage, it was presented before the Countenance. The Intended One said: "This depends on the consent of both parties and the parents. We beseech Him, exalted be He, to bless them both and through them, and to send down His blessings upon them, and to ordain for them the good of the hereafter and of this world.
(Bahá’u’lláh, 1301-09-12 [1884-Jul-6], to Muhammad Mustafa Baghdadi -- BH03310)
15
And concerning what was written about marriage - they should consult with the guardians. Whatever results from that consultation, there has been and is no objection to acting upon it.
(Bahá’u’lláh, 1306-02-12 [1888-Oct-18], to Haji Muhammad Baqir -- BH01649)
16
He answered: "The marriage bond is very important." He repeated it again: "Very very important. Marriage must be strict and pure. You must all be very careful about this."
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words to A.M.Boylan, spoken in garden by the Hudson River on 1912-Jun-07 -- ABU1642)
17
Marriage is a holy and divine Covenant , and young men, in order to partake of the responsibilities of life, must enter into this sacred compact of physical and spiritual relationship. They must bring into their new lives pure bodies, pure thoughts and pure motives.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words to Doctor Finkelstein, spoken on 1915-May-03 -- ABU1399)
18
And when He desired to manifest grace and beneficence to men, and to set the world in order, He revealed observances and created laws; among them He established the law of marriage, made it as a fortress for well-being and salvation, and enjoined it upon us in that which was sent down out of the heaven of sanctity in His Most Holy Book. He saith, great is His glory: "Enter into wedlock, O people, that ye may bring forth one who will make mention of Me amid My servants. This is My bidding unto you; hold fast to it as an assistance to yourselves."
(Bahá’u’lláh, Khutbatu'n-Nikah [marriage Tablet], ca. 1289-1290? -- BH03181)
19
God hath prescribed matrimony unto you. Beware that ye take not unto yourselves more wives than two. Whoso contenteth himself with a single partner from among the maidservants of God, both he and she shall live in tranquillity. … Enter into wedlock, O people, that ye may bring forth one who will make mention of Me amid My servants. This is My bidding unto you; hold fast to it as an assistance to yourselves.
(Bahá’u’lláh, Kitab-i-Aqdas (The Most Holy Book), 1290-05-15 [1873-Jul-11] -- BH00001)
20
Amongst the believers, He hath ordained this binding covenant to be a sign of Divine Unity and the highest means for attaining physical and spiritual union. He hath matched His servants and chosen ones with luminous maidservants and heavenly leaves... He hath bound together their hearts and made them even as a single soul, that they may, at all times and under all conditions, live in harmony, affection, unity, and concord.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1908-Jul-07, to Haji Abdu'llah et al -- AB12841)
The available source contains an omission or incomplete wording; sentence boundaries need review.
21
The wife is a being who wishes to be overflowing with and seeks after the attributes of God and His names; and the tie between them is no other than the Word of God. Verily, it (the Word of God) causes the multitudes to assemble together, and the remote ones to be united. Thus the husband and wife are brought into affinity, are united and harmonized, even as though they were one person. Through their mutual union, companionship and love great results are produced in the world, both material and spiritual.
Thus the husband and wife are brought into affinity, are united and harmonized, even as though they were one person. Through their mutual union, companionship and love great results are produced in the world, both material and spiritual.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1902 or <, to Sarah Gertrude Harris -- AB01141)
23
From separation doth every kind of hurt and harm proceed, but the union of created things doth ever yield most laudable results. From the pairing of even the smallest particles in the world of being are the grace and bounty of God made manifest; and the higher the degree, the more momentous is the union. … And above all other unions is that between human beings, especially when it cometh to pass in the love of God. Thus is the primal oneness made to appear; thus is laid the foundation of love in the spirit.
He has made marriage in the human world blessed and auspicious, through which hearts are united and breasts are gladdened.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, to Thamari, Zibandih and her spouse -- AB03306)
25
Now your engagement is the greatest expression of love and affection. It will certainly yield great results. You have formed a blessed family. The exalted Hosts will spread their congratulations over you and the inhabitants of the Kingdom of Abha will convey their felicitations.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1920-Aug-19, to Schwarz, Faridih et al -- AB12388)
26
My hope is that this union will be eternal - both physical and spiritual, both outward and inward - so that you may pass your days together in the utmost joy and delight, and offer thanks to Baha'u'llah who has made the East and West intimate companions and has established such a connection between Iran and America that Iranian and American have become as one soul.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1920-Jan-23, to Sohrab, Ahmad et al -- AB03317)
27
However, regarding marriage, the more distant the relationship, the better, for distance in kinship between husband and wife is conducive to human physical well-being and the cause of fellowship among mankind.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, to Mahmud Sadrul-Ahrar Faridani -- AB07848)
28
As in the vegetable world the best results are obtained when one kind of fruit is grafted on another, so in the human family, the best and strongest children are obtained by intermarriage between different races."
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words to Aline Shane-Devin spoken on 1907-Oct-14 -- ABU3408)
29
As to thy question, "If the husband preventeth his wife from entering into the Light, or the wife preventeth the husband from entering into the Kingdom of God." In reality neither one of them preventeth the other from entering into the Kingdom of God, except when the husband hath a great attachment to the wife, or the wife to the husband. When either one of the two adoreth the other to the exclusion of God, then each will prevent the other from entering into the Kingdom of God.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1901-Aug-01, to Paul Kingston Dealy -- AB07049)
30
When either one of the two adores the other instead of God, then each will prevent the other from entering into the Kingdom of God.
Thou canst take unto thyself a husband and at the same time serve the Cause of God; the one doth not preclude the other.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1908-Dec-01, to Bethlen, Aurelia et al -- AB00802)
32
Abdul Baha: The marriage which is associated with spirituality and illumination is good.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words to Fugeta, Dr. Esslemont et al, spoken on 1920-Jan-02 -- ABU0697)
33
It is highly important for man to raise a family. So long as he is young, because of youthful self-complacency, he does not realize its significance, but this will be a source of regret when he grows old...
In this glorious Cause the life of a married couple should resemble the life of the angels in heaven -- a life full of joy and spiritual delight, a life of unity and concord, a friendship both mental and physical. The home should be orderly and well-organized.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words spoken on 1916-Jul-02 -- ABU2222)
The available source contains an omission or incomplete wording; sentence boundaries need review.
34
Marriage according to divine law is essential and therefore highly blessed. In youth its rewards and blessings are not apparent, but later one sees that having formed a family brings great joy and delight.
… Therefore marriage is most blessed and acceptable in God's sight. So may this union of yours be blessed and auspicious and, God willing, become the cause of forming a blessed family.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words spoken on 1913-Apr-28 in Stuttgart -- ABU2323)
35
A marriage performed according to the religion of God will be very blessed. A young man cannot appreciate fully the blessings of marriage. When he grows older he will realize its supreme importance in life. When he sees that through the sacred bond of matrimony, he has formed a beautiful family, he soars into the heaven of bliss, especially when he is laden with years.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words to Mr Diebold and Miss Wieland, spoken at Hotel Marquardt on 1913-Apr-28 -- ABU1783)
36
When the rustling of the Divine Lote-Tree was raised, it called out saying: Praise be to God Who hath made marriage a portal for the manifestation of the dawning-places of His name, the All-Merciful, and through it have the cities of remembrance and utterance been adorned. … And praise be to God Who hath made wedlock a means for the promotion of His Cause among His servants and the proclamation of His Word throughout His lands.
(Bahá’u’lláh, to Mirza Muhammad Ali the Greater Branch et al -- BH11707)
37
For the enlightenment of the world dependeth upon the existence of man. If man did not exist in this world, it would have been like a tree without fruit. My hope is that you both may become even as one tree, and may, through the outpourings of the cloud of loving-kindness, acquire freshness and charm, and may blossom and yield fruit, so that your line may eternally endure.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1919-Aug-09, to Blomfield, Rose Elinor et al -- AB05176)
38
O seeker after righteous deeds that endure!
Children and grandchildren who, being of noble lineage, are aided by goodly character - that is to say, who are illumined by the effulgences of the Luminary of the horizons - are to be counted among righteous deeds that endure.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, to Muhammad Husayn Khan -- AB09418)
The available source contains an omission or incomplete wording; sentence boundaries need review.
39
Wherefore, wed Thou in the heaven of Thy mercy these two birds of the nest of Thy love, and make them the means of attracting perpetual grace; that from the union of these two seas of love a wave of tenderness may surge and cast the pearls of pure and goodly issue on the shore of life.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, to Rawshan, Atiyyih et al -- AB05652)
40
Therefore, completely forget yourself. Seek nothing but servitude to Him and desire nothing but sacrifice.
O Lord! Make this bond of unity that You have tied enduring, and grant this servant and handmaiden a spiritual and physical connection. Make this union abundantly blessed and this marriage a cause of joy. Increase the spirituality of both and grant them illumination, so that both may succeed in utmost truthfulness and worship of reality in servitude at Your holy Threshold.
When two birds sing on the branches of a cedar with sweet melodies in remembrance of God those melodies will reach the highest summit from this nether region and it will exhilarate the denizens of the temples of the Kingdom.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1894 ca., to Jalal son of Ali Naqi (Isfahan) et al -- AB07404)
Further quotations · supplied wording and references
42
Know thou that the command of marriage is eternal. It will never be changed nor altered. This is divine creation and there is not the slightest possibility that change or alteration affect this divine creation (marriage).
There is no teaching in the Baha'i Faith that "soul mates" exist. What is meant is that marriage should lead to a profound friendship of spirit, which will endure in the next world, where there is no sex, and no giving and taking in marriage; just the way we should establish with our parents, our children, our brothers and sisters and friends deep spiritual bond which will be ever-lasting, and not merely physical bonds of human relationship.
LG#689 (4 Dec. 1954 on behalf of Shoghi Effendi)
Supplied quotation · catalogue passage not verified