Marriage is the essential and outward fruit of Love, it is the cause of affinity and communication between two souls, so that they may become so blended together as to find the expression of one soul.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, to H.C.W -- AB03299)
Marriage: consent, commitment, and shared life
laws of marriage and dowry
Editorial introduction
Love, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá teaches, can blend two souls until they speak as one, and marriage is the outward fruit of that blending. Bahá’u’lláh surrounds this union with laws that are strikingly practical: the free choice of the couple, which no one may compel; the consent of living parents, sought with patience so that rancour gives way to harmony; a modest dowry; simplicity in place of display; witnesses, so that no promise can later be denied. Each provision guards something tender. The Qur’an’s picture of spouses as a sign of comfort, compassion and mercy [1] makes a fruitful companion, and the official note to the Kitáb-i-Aqdas shows how an earlier permission, made dependent on an equity no husband can fulfil, becomes in effect a law of monogamy [2]. To study these ordinances is to ask what commitment protects: dignity, affection, the welfare of children not yet born. From here the way opens toward marriage as a path of spiritual growth, toward the prayers a couple offers together, and toward the sober mercy of the law of divorce.
Selected passages
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, to Rawshan, Atiyyih et al -- AB05652)
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1906-May-23, to Kanichi Yamamoto -- AB01117)
In the religion of God the consent of both parties is necessary. No one can compel a couple to marry - at most we give permission, we do not interfere more than this. Both parties must consent then the consent of the parents on both sides is necessary. This is obligatory.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words to Fugeta, Dr. Esslemont et al, spoken on 1920-Jan-02 -- ABU0697)
Deliberation and patience are necessary until her mother giveth her consent and thy father and mother also acquiesce. This is the divine commandment!
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1902-Nov-14, to Charles Mason Remey -- AB04940)
As for the matter of marriage in the Land of Mystery, a detailed explanation hath been revealed. The essence of that pronouncement is that it dependeth firstly on the consent of both parties and secondly on the knowledge of the parents. Thus hath the matter been decreed by the Most Exalted Pen.
(Bahá’u’lláh, ca. 1289-1290?, to Zaynul-Muqarrabin -- BH07008)
(Bahá’u’lláh, Kitab-i-Aqdas (The Most Holy Book), 1290-05-15 [1873-Jul-11] -- BH00001)
Regarding marriage that you had written about, following the decisive text is necessary and delay is not permitted. However in such cases marriage should be conducted with utmost simplicity, without noise and clamor and without burden and publicity.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1910-Jun-06, to Ibn-i-Abhar -- AB11633)
What was revealed in the Bayan regarding the people of cities and villages remains valid and binding. However, in the Most Holy Book mention is made of the first degree, and what is meant by the first degree is nineteen mithqals of silver, which was revealed in the Bayan concerning the village-dwellers. This is most beloved before God if both parties accept, for the purpose is the comfort of all and the union and unity of the people. Therefore, the more accommodating one is in these matters, the better.
(Bahá’u’lláh, 1291-10-10 [1874-Nov-20], to Zaynul-Muqarrabin et al -- BH05929)
(Bahá’u’lláh, Su'al va Javab (Questions and Answers), to Zaynul-Muqarrabin -- BH00069)
However, according to the explicit text of the Book, the dowry must not exceed five units of dirhams or dinars. This is a decisive ruling, definitively ordained by the Most Exalted Pen.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1912-Feb-19, to Aqa Muhammad Husayn son of Pir-i Rawhani -- AB02993)
Regarding your question about the five units of dowry - whether one and a half units, or a quarter, or some in gold and some in silver is permissible - it is not so, for it is explicitly specified as either gold or silver. Therefore substitution is not permitted, nor division. However, increasing four units above the first unit is permissible, but division is not allowed as it is explicitly specified without interpretation.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1901 ca., to Aqa Mirza Zaynu'l-Abidin Jarrah Zanjani -- AB11953)
Seventh: You shall join the letter Ba' to the letter Alif according to what We have revealed in the Book. Then fear ye Me. Say: In cities the amount is ninety-five mithqals of gold, while in villages it is the same amount in silver, descending to nineteen mithqals when the number of the Vahid is reached, if mutual satisfaction exists between them.
(The Báb, Bayan-i-Arabi (Arabic Bayan) -- BB00020)
God hath fixed the dowry at nineteen mithqals of gold, increasing by one mithqal until it reacheth ninety-five mithqals if the bride be from among the people of the city; and if she be from among the people of the villages, nineteen mithqals of silver, increasing by one mithqal until it reacheth ninety-five mithqals - little do ye comprehend this.
(The Báb, Kitabu'l-Fasl -- BB00056)
If you wish to join two souls in marriage, none can prevent you from this as a bounty from God upon you and upon them both. God has nurtured you in them both before the creation of the heavens and earth and what lies between them, for He is the Best of Judges.
(The Báb, Letter to Mulla Nawruz 'Ali, Maku or Chihriq (Naw-Ruz), to Mulla Nawruz 'Ali -- BB00276)
As to what thou didst ask: that a certain man hath, of his own person, asserted unto a certain woman that "thou art my wedded wife," and that he and she recited together the verse of consent, and agreed upon a specified dowry in conformity with the ordinance of the Book; that neither party had anyone appointed by them to conclude the contract with leave and permission; and that no other witnesses were present; yet now the woman denieth it, saying: "Never did such a thing take place; it is a lie." What is the duty, and what the ruling? These matters were laid before the Presence; He said: This marriage contract hath not been concluded according to the ordinance of the Book, for the nuptial formula must be recited and a number of persons must be present, that thereafter none may be able to deny. The recitation of the formula is not an obligation, yet witnesses are necessary.
(Bahá’u’lláh, 1298-07-17 [1881-Jun-15], to Mulla Ali Akbar Shahmirzadi -- BH00035)
And as to the laws of marriage and divorce which were sought, that which was revealed in this station in the Kitab-i-Aqdas had already been sent down aforetime. Likewise, in these days, the homily hath descended from the heaven of Oneness.
(Bahá’u’lláh, Khutbatu'n-Nikah [marriage Tablet], ca. 1289-1290? -- BH03181)
After the consent of both parties and the consent of the parents, they should gather in a place among the God-fearing and recite this blessed sermon with the utmost joy and fragrance. After the recitation of the sermon, the beloved and his beloved should, in a separate place, recite these two blessed verses that were revealed in the Bayan. [The verses mentioned in the Bayan should be written.] Then the husband should deliver the dowry to his wife, and both parties should sign the document, as well as the witnesses.
(Bahá’u’lláh, 1290-02-20 [1873-Apr-19], to Zaynul-Muqarrabin -- BH03116)
God's commandment on this matter is what has already in the Kitáb-i-Aqdas, been revealed by the command of Him Who is the Lord of all Names, from His Exalted Kingdom. Cling ye unto whatsoever hath been revealed therein of the laws of God, the Mighty, the Self Subsisting.
(Bahá’u’lláh, to Baha'is of Khurasan et al -- BH01684)
Now the text of the Book is this: When marriage and the union of husband and wife is decided, meaning this girl is promised to this boy and the union is definite, no more than ninety-five days' delay is permitted for preparation of the trousseau and other matters - the wedding must take place. And the marriage contract is on the night of the wedding, meaning there is no interval between contract and wedding.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1908-Jul-12, to Gul-Surkh Khanum Imami Azami (Faizih) -- AB08236)
After the marriage agreement and its confirmation and public announcement - meaning formally informing friends and companions that the marriage of these two souls has been confirmed and established - no more than ninety-five days may pass before the consummation must take place and the two verses be recited and the dowry delivered. If it exceeds ninety-five days it is forbidden and disobedience to the Lord's command, though the contract is not invalidated. Whoever causes delay is responsible and subject to reproach and rebuke. Support, clothing and housing become established from the day of consummation.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1909-Jul-28, to Abdu'l-Majid Furughi -- AB01502)
O 'Ali Aqa, it is explicitly stated in the Book that when a daughter is betrothed, the wedding cannot be delayed more than ninety-five days.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1919-Aug-23, to Ali Aqa -- AB01563)
For according to the binding injunction of the Book, ere entering upon one's fifteenth year marriage is not permitted. Nomination and betrothal too should not take place before the wedding: that is, after the engagement no more than 95 days should pass before the marriage. Likewise the consent of both parties is the first condition; yet consent before maturity is invalid, while the age of maturity is set at fifteen.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá -- AB05537)
The marriage of daughters before entering their fifteenth year is not permitted according to the decisive text, as it causes illness in souls and leads to weakness and lassitude in progeny.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1907-Jun ca., to Fadlullah Naraqi (Muavinut-Tujjar) -- AB06408)
This servant also entreated and implored at the Holy Threshold of the Self-Subsisting Lord that you may be assisted to carry out the divine ordinances, which are that marriage after the maturity of the wife is at age fifteen and is not permitted before maturity.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá -- AB02418)
Marriage and divorce must be carried out with the knowledge of the government or through those in authority, otherwise difficulties will arise. In any case, marriage and divorce must be administered under an effective center, so that should either party seek to undermine them, they would be powerless to do so, but rather be compelled to obey.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1912-Feb-12, to Aqa Nasrullah Shahmirzadi -- AB11152)
As for marriage, it is entirely a matter of civil law, yet in the Law of God its conditions are set forth and its fundamentals are made clear. However, the marriage of close relatives is not explicitly mentioned and is referred to the House of Justice, which will decide according to the principles of civilization, the requirements of medicine and wisdom, and human nature. There is no doubt that according to the principles of civilization, medicine, and nature, marriage between distant relations is preferable to marriage between close relations.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1900 or < -- AB00151)
Taking and giving [in marriage] with any group and any religion is permitted.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1909 or <, to Ardishir Hakim -- AB02992)
Furthermore, in other Tablets it is explicitly stated that divine wisdom in marriage requires that it be between distant relations, meaning that the greater the distance between spouses, the stronger, more beautiful and healthier the offspring will be. This is also established and verified in medical science, and medical rules are prescribed and acting upon them is mandatory. Therefore, as much as possible one should marry those of distant relation, and when the Baha'i Cause gains strength, be assured that marriage between close relatives will also become rare.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1919-Mar-10, to Ali Sahib, Siyyid Mazhar et al -- AB00494)
Concerning marriage about which you had written - it is explicitly mentioned in the Book and needs no repetition. However, the more distant [the relation], the better, for the constitution of the children becomes stronger, their features better, and their health and well-being increase.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1907-Jun ca., to Abdu'l-Husayn Aghchihdizji -- AB11145)
If you have any influence to get the races to intermarry, it will be very valuable. Such unions will beget very strong and beautiful children.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words to Louis Gregory, spoken on 1911-Apr-12 -- ABU3197)
Intermarriage is a good way to efface racial differences. It produces strong, beautiful offspring, clever and resourceful."
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words to Louis Gregory, spoken on 1911-Apr-11 -- ABU3388)
Generally the offsprings of marriages between the age of 25 and 40 become hole, muscular, able-bodied and brawny; provided the contracting parties have been free from diseases and certain weaknesses of the body.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words to Doctor Finkelstein, spoken on 1915-May-03 -- ABU1399)
Marriage is necessary. It is a command of God. Humanity is continued through the practice of this law but the life in the family must be [pure], soul-elevating so that the children may breath the uncontaminated atmosphere of sanctity and the love of their parents may be a great example to them."
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words spoken at Rue Lauriston 97 in Paris, 1913-Mar-28 -- ABU2489)
As for the right to choose the residence, although this belongs to the husband, if the choice of residence is made with mutual consent, this is more complete and causes joy and fragrance. As for determining the dowry, this depends on the husband - if from city dwellers it is gold, and if from villagers it is silver.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1913-Oct-20, to Aqa Mirza Muhammad Natiq -- AB03541)
The limits of travel are set forth and recorded in the Book. It must be undertaken with the consent of both parties, that is, regarding the duration.
(Bahá’u’lláh, 1300-11 [1883-Sep], to Ramadan-Ali -- BH04630)
As for the new question you wrote about, the answer is: If a wife leaves her husband without an acceptable and legitimate excuse, she has no right to claim maintenance and is considered rebellious. She must obey her husband. And if she has a legitimate excuse, she must present it to the Spiritual Assembly. The members of the Spiritual Assembly should consider and investigate - if the wife's excuse for leaving the husband's home is legitimate, meaning her dissatisfaction is due to compelling legitimate reasons, then the wife has a legal right to maintenance and housing. Or the husband may satisfy his wife and bring her home.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1909-Feb-06, to Mulla Ali Akbar Shahmirzadi Ayadi -- AB00665)
As for the matter of news of death or murder of a spouse and waiting nine months, this applies to an absent spouse, not a present one.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1913-Oct-26, to Mirza Musa Hakimbashi -- AB04113)
The law of waiting was revealed when the husband's fate was concealed, but after its discovery to act according to what is revealed in God's Book was and is beloved.
(Bahá’u’lláh, to Jamal Burujirdi -- BH02421)
You have asked concerning remarriage after the death of one's partner; according to the law of God this is permitted. But if one has had children by one's first wife and decides to forego a second marriage, he will find life more comfortable, the home more peaceful and the atmosphere more conducive to joy and fragrance. However, re-marriage is permissible in the Faith.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, to Gudarz Mihraban -- AB05702)
Abdul Baha laughed, then said: It makes no difference whether one marries or not, that is of importance only to the individual.
I do not command, they make their own choice.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words to Mrs C., spoken on 1920-Oct-23 -- ABU1200)
Regarding the letter of Mirza Ghulam-'Ali:
Concerning what they wrote about marriage - it is not permissible to forgo it, for it is among God's traditions established among creatures, as has been revealed in detail from the Holy Kingdom in the Most Holy Book.
(Bahá’u’lláh, to Aqa Mirza Ghulam-Ali -- BH10796)
Before the advent of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon Him), polygamy was so prevalent and widespread among the Arabs that it was impossible to suddenly mandate monogamy.
Despite this, He states that if you cannot deal justly between four wives, then you must choose one.
From this verse it is clear that in reality, in the sight of God, only one wife is permissible and acceptable, since equitable treatment is impossible.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words spoken on 1913-Mar-21 in Paris -- ABU3006)
The reason for the ruling of three and four [wives] was that in the time of the Prophet, there was no limit to the number of marriages among the Arabs, therefore He commanded three and four [wives] conditional upon justice, otherwise multiple wives causes corruption of the family. But marriage to a distant relation is certainly better.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá -- ABU2455)
In the Bible polygamy is not forbidden. Christ prohibited divorce only. In the first century the Christians used to marry several wives. Even Paul says that the religious leaders ('elder') must have one wife only. More than one is not permitted, as otherwise he will be distracted. From this it may be inferred that they used to marry more than one. Monogamy was instituted by the Church Council, for this was the habit of the old times.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words to Fugeta, et al, spoken on 1919-Dec-18 -- ABU2190)
The fact is that Baha'u'llah's plurality of wives occurred prior to the revelation of the Aqdas. Hence at that time in conformity with the laws of the previous Dispensation and in view of certain considerations, He had two wives at the same time.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1911-Jul-05, to Ethel J Rosenberg -- AB03180)
It is not forbidden for a man to have two wives, but since it is difficult to treat them both equally, a fair and pious person will not choose to have two wives.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Words spoken on 1913-Apr-17 in Budapest -- ABU3699)
As for plural marriage, plural marriage is explicitly permitted and has not been abrogated, and 'Abdu'l-Baha has not abrogated this law - this is one of the fabrications of the friends. However, I will say that justice has been made a condition for plural marriage, such that unless one is certain of maintaining justice and his heart is assured that he will act with justice, he should not undertake a second marriage. Only when he is absolutely certain that he will maintain justice in all aspects is a second marriage permitted.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1903 ca., to Hakim Davud Hamidani -- AB00629)
With regard to your question concerning plurality of wives, according to the Holy Text bigamy is permissible. It is not forbidden and is indeed lawful. Do not therefore feel sad. Try, as far as possible, to be just in your relationships with them. What has been revealed in the Holy Text is that, since it is extremely difficult to act with justice, it is more conducive to one's well-being and happiness to practice monogamy, but do not be sad now that you have married a second wife.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, to Karbala'i Hasan Khan Diziji -- AB10397)
As for a third wife, it is in no way permissible and is absolutely forbidden, even if both wives are incompatible and separation impossible, and even if there are no children; nevertheless, no excuse shall be accepted. Even a second wife is conditional upon justice, and justice is very difficult. Blessed is he who is capable of this.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, to Mahmud Sadrul-Ahrar Faridani -- AB07848)
Some time ago, you asked a question concerning marriage to two sisters, the answer to which was written. Aqa Mirza Ni'matullah has however repeated the question in his letter saying no reply has been received. The answer is, therefore, briefly restated. Marriage to two sisters at the same time is not permissible....
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1912 ca., to Gul-Surkh Khanum Imami Azami (Faizih) -- AB11250)
However, justice, which is a requirement - as in the case of the permission for plural marriage in the Book of God being conditional upon justice - and since justice is impossible to achieve, therefore one must be content with one spouse.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, 1901 ca., to Lutf-Ali Bavanati -- AB10410)
As for the matter of plural marriage, the Most Great Name enacted it only for a hidden wisdom and divine mystery.
… Know that God's law does not permit plural marriage, for it explicitly states contentment with one wife and makes a second wife conditional upon justice and fairness between them in all ranks and conditions. But justice and fairness between two wives is impossible and unattainable. Making this matter conditional upon something impossible to achieve is clear proof that it is not permitted in any way. Therefore only one wife is permitted for each person.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, to Laura Dreyfus-Barney -- AB00710)
Further quotations · supplied wording and references
Baha'u'llah has clearly stated the consent of all living parents is required for a Baha'i marriage. This applies whether the parents are Baha'is or non-Baha'is divorced for years or not. This great law He has laid down to strengthen the social fabric, to knit closer the ties of the home, to place a certain gratitude and respect in the hearts of children for those who have given them life and sent their souls out on the eternal journey toward their Creator.
COC#1235 (25 Oct. 1947 on behalf of Shoghi Effendi)
What I have said is that He has made bigamy bound on a precondition. As long as someone does not attain certitude regarding the capability to practice justice and his heart is not at rest that he can practice justice, he should not be intent upon a second marriage. But if he should be sure and attain certitude that he would practice justice on all levels (and conditions), then a second marriage is lawful. … (Our) purpose was to state that bigamy without justice is not lawful and that justice is very difficult (to achieve).
(Abdu'l-Baha, provisional translation, AvK4:174)
You asked about polygamy. According to the text of the Divine Book the right of having two wives is lawful and legal. This was never prohibited, but it is legitimate and allowed. You should therefore not be unhappy, but take justice into your consideration so that you may be as just as possible. what has been said was that since justice is very difficult (to achieve), therefore tranquillity (calls for) one wife. But in your case, you should not be unhappy.
(Abdu'l-Baha, provisional translation, AvK4:174)
The text of the Kitab-i-Aqdas upholds monogamy, but as it appears also to permit bigamy, the Guardian was asked for a clarification, and in reply his secretary wrote on his behalf: "Regarding Baha'i marriage: in the light of the Master's Tablet interpreting the provision in the Aqdas on the subject of the plurality of wives, it becomes evident that monogamy alone is permissible, since, as 'Abdu'l-Baha states, bigamy is conditioned upon justice, and as justice is impossible, it follows that bigamy is not permissible, and monogamy alone should be practised."
(Synopsis and Codification of the Kitab-i-Aqdas, p. 58)
Continue exploring
For thought and discussion
Questions to carry forward
- How does the image of two souls becoming united illuminate the practical conditions discussed here?
- How can a family honor the couple’s freedom of choice while approaching parental consent with patience and care?
- What might simplicity and restraint in financial expectations contribute to the beginning of a shared life?
- What does the Qur’anic emphasis on companionship and mercy invite you to notice about the purposes of marriage law?
- How does reading earlier provisions alongside authoritative interpretation change your understanding of gradual religious and social change?
- What further questions arise when you connect these passages with spiritual partnership, prayer for married couples, and the responsibilities involved in divorce?